Sat the 30th of May – Oma Part II

After painful negotiations, Oma and I agree on the terms of our already precarious “truce”. She has her own cleaning lady that comes every Wednesday. It’s the same one that has been coming for the last 30 years (she is close to 70 years old!). The idea is to give Oma extra help with groceries, cleaning the bird cages, the kitty litter, and other similar chores. Thanks to my friend Demmy, I am introduced to her young cleaning ladies. They are aware of my situation, seem competent and welcome the extra work. One of them, Zeny, will supplement for no more than 2 hours each Saturday upon Oma’s specific request. This is the compromise she reluctantly accepts and now we are left with the final “detail” of introducing Zeny to her…

Little do I know that this old lady has a few more tricks up her sleeve and has not yet even started to flex her muscles. My cunning adversary has the advantage of a lifetime of experience in being a royal pain in the a**. She is very well seasoned in the art of arguing and mystifying her opponents. When Zeny and I arrive, Oma hardly if icily acknowledges her. We follow her into the living room where she majestically sits on her throne and suspiciously eyes this “new comer”. She doesn’t even offer her a seat and I awkwardly take on the role of hostess. We may have different opinions but, at the very least, I expect Oma or anyone for that matter, regardless of race, culture and age to be courteous to any guest in his/her home. Zeny takes all this in calmly and quietly. She doesn’t seem phased and I am grateful.

Oma re-negotiates the conditions. Not once, not twice, but several times! Her strategy is simple and effective: like a jellyfish stinging and paralysing its prey, she numbs me into total confusion. First, she changes her mind about having Zeny come on Saturdays. “No, I don’t want her then (she addresses me and ignores Zeny). I only want her over when Mrs Oetelmans (after 30 years she is not on first name basis with her regular cleaning lady) goes on holiday at the end of the month. Also, I want her for 2 hours but may need her for 3. Ask her if she can be available” This entirely defeats the purpose. “Oma, once isn’t enough. You need extra help. Do you understand that you will be on your own?” After I sound like a broken record, Oma proposes Wednesdays and Fridays. Last time we spoke, she didn’t want these days because she found the period in between too short. I point this out to her. All this while, we don’t even consult Zeny. Finally Oma settles on Tuesdays and Fridays. This is her final decision. Unfortunately, this conflicts with Zeny’s own schedule and she will need to check. In Oma’s busy social calendar, there is no flexibility for any other days. Oma refuses to ask her own cleaning lady to come any other day and so we’re back to Wednesdays.

Oma skillfully makes me run around in a circle at the end of which I find myself exactly where I started…Check Mate!

Gradually, Oma’s coldness melts away and she starts talking normally to Zeny. Of course, the whole honesty, fairness, hardworking code of conduct speech is given. Zeny patiently listens and short of a bible being shoved under her hand, she solemnly swears to do her best in upholding Oma’s high standards.