I am Wile E. Coyote from Road Runner. Short of strapping myself to a cannon and blasting in, my “brilliant” plans to infiltrate the hospital ward are consistently thwarted. I tried charming. I tried yelling. I tried sneaking in (imagine me tip-toeing). Yet each time the door mercilessly slams into my flattened face. I’m sure I almost hear a: “Beep Beep” from the nurse as the dust settles behind the shut door.
I recently found that the obstacle course doesn’t even begin at the door. It starts in the waiting room. You see, if it isn’t the nurse slamming the door, it’s the mother of another patient who conveniently ignores the line, slithering in as soon as there’s an opening, before anyone else even has the time to blink. It’s a freaking war zone out here and my adversaries are fast and ruthless. As soon as we hear the lock turning, we all throw ourselves at the door. I think I even developed a sixth sense where I can hear the footsteps of the nurse before she even reaches the door. Sadly, I’m not the only one to have formed a super power. Some even smell her coming.
And so after the 3rd time of being outwitted by another relative, I decide to practice Sun Tzu’s Art of War: “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer”. My plan is ingenious. Fail proof. I walk into the waiting room with the brightest smile. Establishing good eye contact his key. I indulge in idle chit chat with every person in the room all the while securing my position in line. “Oh. You’re ahead of me? Great. That means I’m next” I say out loud for all to hear. I continue conversing always keeping a firm eye on that door. “Brilliant. My plan is coming together.” I smugly tell myself. A woman comes in after the rest and stands in front of the door. Instinctively, we all close in on her. As the self appointed leader of the pack, to all and no-one in particular, I call out the order in which this is going down. I’m extremely surprised when my statement is met with very blank looks. I expected to have formed alliances but they all seem to think I’m some anal foreign chick…Could this be? Anyway, the lady, on the defense, casually says “don’t worry, we’ll all get in”. Great. Then you won’t mind waiting your turn. While we bicker, the door opens, and momentarily distracted, guess who seizes the opportunity…The Libyan Gentleman!!!!! Unbelievable. I complain to the nurse. She shrugs and dares to justify his behavior: “He’s from Libya. He doesn’t know any better”. Her statement is so politically incorrect on so many levels I don’t even know where to begin. And so I am outwitted yet again…by my Libyan neighbor no less. Is he over me already? How oddly disappointing...
I recently found that the obstacle course doesn’t even begin at the door. It starts in the waiting room. You see, if it isn’t the nurse slamming the door, it’s the mother of another patient who conveniently ignores the line, slithering in as soon as there’s an opening, before anyone else even has the time to blink. It’s a freaking war zone out here and my adversaries are fast and ruthless. As soon as we hear the lock turning, we all throw ourselves at the door. I think I even developed a sixth sense where I can hear the footsteps of the nurse before she even reaches the door. Sadly, I’m not the only one to have formed a super power. Some even smell her coming.
And so after the 3rd time of being outwitted by another relative, I decide to practice Sun Tzu’s Art of War: “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer”. My plan is ingenious. Fail proof. I walk into the waiting room with the brightest smile. Establishing good eye contact his key. I indulge in idle chit chat with every person in the room all the while securing my position in line. “Oh. You’re ahead of me? Great. That means I’m next” I say out loud for all to hear. I continue conversing always keeping a firm eye on that door. “Brilliant. My plan is coming together.” I smugly tell myself. A woman comes in after the rest and stands in front of the door. Instinctively, we all close in on her. As the self appointed leader of the pack, to all and no-one in particular, I call out the order in which this is going down. I’m extremely surprised when my statement is met with very blank looks. I expected to have formed alliances but they all seem to think I’m some anal foreign chick…Could this be? Anyway, the lady, on the defense, casually says “don’t worry, we’ll all get in”. Great. Then you won’t mind waiting your turn. While we bicker, the door opens, and momentarily distracted, guess who seizes the opportunity…The Libyan Gentleman!!!!! Unbelievable. I complain to the nurse. She shrugs and dares to justify his behavior: “He’s from Libya. He doesn’t know any better”. Her statement is so politically incorrect on so many levels I don’t even know where to begin. And so I am outwitted yet again…by my Libyan neighbor no less. Is he over me already? How oddly disappointing...
Oh well. Another day, another strategy. Tomorrow I’ll play the ignorant foreigner. Success guaranteed. Beep Beep.
Hi sweety,
ReplyDeleteWon't they let you in? Aren't you allowed in at all or do you get a chance to spend a few hrs every day with Mara? I hope Mara is doing well. When are we going to hear how she responded to the transplant? Big hug and kiss to you all from A'dam.
DD
I have the same questions. I hope Mara is responding well to the transplant and feeling stronger and better. XXx shelly
ReplyDelete