Tuesday the 28th of Jul – Mars Attack

After months of holding back, greatly aided by some serious sleep deprivation, Mara finally broke down. Yep. Last Sunday was the memorable day; I no longer need to visit Niagara Falls. I had my own private viewing in an Italian Hospital room. I’m delighted she cried her eyes out. It was about time she opened the lid on all her emotions. It’s healthy. It relieves. It’ll make her pee less and her eyes all the more sparkling. Although my last comment wasn’t well received. It’s a little too early for humor. I take the hint, shut up, hug her and let her sob. There’s nothing like a good crying session. Once you open those gates, everything just comes flooding in. Then, when the legitimate weeping matters are out of the way, the tears usually get tinged with some self pity where even the tiniest offense becomes a capital one worthy of wailing (don't let Mar catch me saying this): “And those stupid nurses always leave the light on at night and they're so indifferent and I can’t sleep and I have to pee every 2 minutes, and on and on…” I make light of this situation but in the end, it’s all just too much. Mar’s at the end of her rope. It’s now beyond physical and has entered the realm of her mind. The girl doesn’t know what hit her. I can tell by the way she keeps saying: “I don’t know what hit me, Paul. I can’t stop crying, feeling depressed. I know I have no reason but I do”. I suspect her doctors are sensible enough to recognize that she desperately needs a break. That’s probably partly the reason why they decided to give her the day off from the hospital today. That and the fact that her neutrophils are at 1600! Yeahhhh!

Any shrink would have a field day analyzing the myriad of emotions washing over Mara. Just like Snow White, she has 7 emotional little dwarves hovering around, hard at work: “Hi Ho, Hi Ho…” By now, you may astutely have remarked on the recurring cartoon theme. Welcome to my Fantasy world. Never a dull moment.

Anyway, back to Mar and the construction site that is her psyche. For a long time Anger laid the foundation in her head. Then Sadness painted the walls of her soul. The twins Panic and Paranoia hammered a little deeper into her mind. Fear and Depression built a little brick wall and finally Relief came sweeping through. Only there doesn’t seem to be much teamwork among the dwarves who come and go at their leisure without any order. So what does Snow White do? She whips their little hineys and recruits an 8th little Dwarf called Optimism to finish off the work. Et voila…Villa Mara is ready!

I sleep over every night now. I thought I’d spend some time describing what my sexy layered pyjamas look like (Delilah and her veils would be envious). I start off with matching dark blue trousers and shirt. The shirt has a side pocket and its usefulness very questionable because all items brought in must be sterilized and placed in a separate plastic bag anyway. Naturally all garments are disposable and only available in X or XXL. I cover the whole with a light green overcoat with matching green bonnet for over my hair. I pull over my feet some kind of green Christmas stocking that go just below my knees. And over those, another pair of dark green covers for my feet. I finish off my outfit with rubber gloves (for the kinky ones among you) and of course never forget the mouth cap. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I slip into something more comfortable for my sleep overs. Oh. And every time I go to the bathroom, which is at the end of the hall, I’m expected to change…After one week in my very own Swedish sauna, one of the nurses finally pointed out that the green overcoat wasn’t necessary when sleeping over. How very considerate! After one whole week! Welcome to the land of too little information.

Anyway, at least in the mornings, I provide my sister with a little entertainment. I’m totally dishevelled (how surprising) and beneath the bonnet I sport a tremendous Afro. Mar says I look like the green Martian from Tim Burton’s Mars Attack. Also, you can tell by the shifted position of my mouth cap on what side I slept. Next time I’ll take a picture.

My only consolation is that everyone is expected to wear this outfit. Including the doctors. And I confess to possibly having a little crush on one of them. I only see his eyes behind spectacles and a few curls peeking out from under the hideous green bonnet. He may not be attractive. I don't know. But, Boy oh Boy, his voice sure is handsome…Sigh…Next time I hear his deep voice, I’ll say something clever in the most sensual muffled voice I can possibly master from behind my mouth cap…